Sermon preached at St David's Episcopal Church - Elkhart, Indiana
The Rev. Joshua D Nelson
2 Corinthians 12:2-10
The last few days I have been in Warsaw. There is a local couple who wished to be married, and while St. Anne’s is in transition, searching for a new priest, Bishop Doug asked if I would witness this marriage on behalf of himself and the whole church. In other words, when all the seasoned professionals are in Austin for Convention, send in the rookie. Well, Friday afternoon I conducted the rehearsal and was later invited back to the brides home to share pizza with her family. My attendance at the rehearsal dinner brought back a few memories.
Four years ago, I took an extended weekend off work at the High School to go back to Ohio for my sister's wedding. I was a groomsman, a reader, and the special music. Although it was a stressful week, we made it through the rehearsal mostly unscarred. Then came the rehearsal dinner. We drove across Columbus, Ohio to the Spaghetti Warehouse. When we arrived, I was asked to carry in the gifts for the wedding party. Upon entering the vestibule we found that our large table was not quite ready. It had been a long day and I needed to use the restroom while waiting. So I passed off the parcels and made my way in that direction. Down the hallway, with the door to the head in sight, I slipped . . . . REALLY SLIPPED. My left foot passed behind my right, my whole body came down on it, and to top it all of . . . the heavy marble side table I tried to use as a brace came toppling down after me.
A few moments of panic and a late night in the ER showed that I had a fracture in at least one of my metatarsal. I made it through the wedding with a wheelchair and Vicodin and my journey into weakness began.
I was expecting a few days rest and then possibly some time in a boot but nevertheless returning to my job the next week. What a foolish illusion that was. A few days later my parents took me to see an orthopedic surgeon. He returned to the exam room with a copy of my x-ray and a grave look on his face. This was no small fracture. I had what is known as a Lisfranc fracture. oooo french, sounds fancy. It was named after one of Napoleon's soldiers who suffered it after being thrown from a horse his body leaving the mount but his foot remaining in the stirrup. My left foot, was basically broken in half. They had to wait a few weeks for the swelling to subside but it was going to require surgery
and months of recovery. Now back in South Bend, I had the type of job that required me to stand most of the day and I had a third-floor apartment with no elevator. Needless-to-say, I was done teaching for the year and the weekend my sister finally moved out of the house I moved back in after nearly a decade on my own into a makeshift bedroom in the parlor of my parents home. I’d found the thorn in my flesh (it looks like ten screws in my foot). I had been humbled in more ways than one.
Pot-Op x-ray of my left foot with ten screws to correct it after the break.
Now for a moment, to understand just how difficult this was I ‘d like to talk about the Enneagram. Enneagram is a personality test system that tests its practitioners on various levels assigning them one of nine numbers as well as wings, or shadow sides which are indicators as to how your personality reacts under stress or stimuli.
I am an ONE on the Enneagram scale. This is the reformer and the perfectionist. This person enjoys being in control because they have spent their lives seeing the big picture and get frustrated when the pieces do not fit as the ONE thinks they should. Some practitioners of Enneagram have done various analyses to determine which biblical character would best fit at each point of the scale. I am a ONE,
my biblical doppelganger is the Apostle Paul.
Paul was blinded by God, thrown into weakness at the beginning of his ministry so that he might be shown the big picture. When his sight returned and he humbled himself before God and Ananias, his mission changed and he changed the world. Read his letters candidly and with this in mind. He is not always the greatest theologian as some would like to crown him, At times he probably thinks too highly of himself but is thrown into various circumstances given a thorn in his flesh to remember that all he is and has come from God. He has a temper. He gets things wrong, but deep in his spirit, he has an illumined vision of the way it ought to be. And when he writes to the various churches of Greece and Asia-Minor he is often yelling at them frustrated with them “HOW DO YOU NOT SEE IT?”
“WHY ARE YOU STILL BICKERING OVER THESE TRIFLES?” “LOVE GOD AND LOVE EACH OTHER IT AINT THAT DIFFICULT Y’ALL!” (I’m paraphrasing)
When I broke my foot I was coming to the end of my discernment period for the priesthood. In fact two weeks later my father would push me around Sewanee as I made my official visit and interview for seminary. I was having a difficult time fully committing. I was afraid to leave my students. I was afraid to leave what I knew and loved.
God had to metaphorically throw me off my horse. Literally, bring me down to earth and stick me in bed for three months. Paul’s initial knockout moment only lasted three days but who am I to complain. I had to learn how to trust others, how to ask for help. I had to begin learning where my weaknesses lie. I had to humble myself before my parents and before God. I had to rely on others and spend a lot of time alone lying in bed seeking God and looking at the big picture.
I would go to seminary and continue learning these lessons catching rides with my brand new roommate when I foot hurt too much to drive. Trusting the physical therapist that what she was asking me to do was for my betterment. My strength of character my level of trust in God and other people is constantly being put into check and sometimes God still needs to “pull the rug out from under me.”
Paul and I both try to do and do and do to bring about all the pieces of the bigger picture but neither of us can do it alone. Paul had Luke and other companions like Timothy and Dorcas who took the mission where he could not go. Paul allowed others to carry some of the burden and trust that God would see him through. This is why the thorn is not taken away. This is why we turn to God. This is why we turn to each other.
Weakness forces us to learn what trust and faith really look like. Weakness forces us to listen to our bodies to listen to our minds, to listen to our spirits. Weakness forces us to take sabbath every once in a while to hand over the reigns so that we may rest and recover to shoulder each other's burdens. Weakness draws us back to earth so that in the midst of ethereal experience with the Divine we may remember that the foundation of the kingdom of God is built deep in the mud. Weakness forces us to accept changes even though they may hurt and frustrate us. Weakness brings us to the humble place to accept the things we can not change. Weakness gives us time to take a break to open our eyes to spend a moment with God and see the bigger picture.
And here is the lesson I want you to take away this morning. Holy weakness is not an unbearable obstacle. It does not hold us back forever. Holy weakness is a strength because in it we must allow God to gently lead us to show us who to walk with and to learn what true power in Jesus really means.
